


Christmas Sequence 2: Festivus Fuckfest

by jih3k



Series: Perfect Sequence [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alcohol, Applebee's, Cheating, Cucklord, Cuckolding, Dinosaurs, Eiffel Tower, Festivus, Frottage, Holidays, Kissing, Large Cock, Lizardfolk, M/M, One Night Stands, One Piece Xmas, Perfect Sequence, Public Blow Jobs, Public Sex, Sanji is a Slut, Scat, Spit As Lube, Spitroasting, Threesome - M/M/M, Vore, lizard dick, scaly, twin dicks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:20:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21559228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jih3k/pseuds/jih3k
Summary: On a cold night somewhere in North Blue, three natives have a chance meeting during an airing of grievances at a local Applebee's. They decide there's only one way to cure their holiday blues.
Relationships: X Drake/Vinsmoke Sanji, X Drake/Vinsmoke Sanji/Basil Hawkins
Series: Perfect Sequence [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1317449
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Christmas Sequence 2: Festivus Fuckfest

**Author's Note:**

> This monstrosity is a year later sequel to Christmas Sequence and combines at least 12 months of weird fic ideas into an unholy chimera of a North Blue three-way, dinosaur sex, and general weirdness. Sorry everyone.

It had been a tough year for Sanji. Ever since last One Piece Xmas, he had not been sure what to make of the state of his life. He thought that last year was bad cause how do you top being reunited with your hated and estranged family only to be sewn ass to mouth with your brothers. Why? Because apparently their dumbshit father thought that this was going to help him reconquer North Blue if he made his children into a refinery for shit. It had ended with them being violently raped by the Big Mom Pirates (but not Daifuku cause he wasn't into that and he was just like, "I'm good.") until they were rescued by Luffy and then de-centipeded by Trafalgar Law. This led to a whirlwind romance where Law was the light of Sanji's life and Sanji was his "Sugartits." It was fine until One Piece Christmas when Ichiji had abducted Law and raped him senseless with a combination of Germa Hyper-Dildo technology and Ichiji's own genetically enhanced penis. Sanji had repressed the memory of his brother Niji had forced him to eat shit out of his butthole. Again.

From there Sanji knew that his brother was cucking him and that Law had entered into a DDLG relationship with Sparking Red. Then one weekend when Law was "shopping" he came back home markedly different. Like he seemed to have forgotten some of his surgical skills and softened his stance on bread. On the occasions that they were still intimate, Law would put Sanji's penis into a hot dog bun and say, "Time for Sanji's famous Hot Dong sandwich." Which was super lame.

So a few days away from One Piece Xmas, Sanji found himself drinking alone at an Applebee's bar somewhere in North Blue. Like all things in this series, the exact location shall be vague and unnamed. Let's call it Rustic Winter Town and it has an Applebee's because of Judge's Stargate technology but no one really gave it much thought. As Sanji downed his shot and chased it with some Coor's Light as the clock chimed 9:00pm. Time for discount appetizers. Blackleg was so over this year he didn't care that he'd be poisoning his body with disgusting, heavily processed foods. Or that the staff seemed to be wheeling out a karaoke snail. For some reason there was also a 5 foot tall metal pole brought out as well. The floor manager now said, "It is time for $2 dollar beers and also the One Piece Festivus Airing of Grievances." Sanji was fucking confused, but assumed that this had something to do with his father's tampering with time and space.

The mic was now opened and the first person to approach was someone that the Mugiwara chef recognized. It was X Drake, the former Marine who could turn into a t-rex which was a totally normal thing. He took the speaker of the karaoke snail and began. "Hey so this year was fucking stupid. I had to work for a drunk and work with some nerd whose actual name is Page One. Why you gotta just stick the dinosaur Devil Fruit users together? I don't work well with that guy and also he smells bad. Plus, my dad's still dead and I can't tell anybody about the fact that under deep cover to infiltrate the Beast Pirates and... oh fuck. Forget that last part or I'll kill have to everyone here. Alright, I'm done." He returned to his bar area table where he stuffed a mozzarella stick into his mouth.

The next person to come up Sanji originally thought was some goth kid, but no. It was The Magician, Basil Hawkins. And he looked a little pissed off. He glared at the former Marine who had just sat down and said, "Alright so I had a bunch of grievances, but top of my list now is this bullshit where a co-worker is preparing to make my life hard. I mean the fuck, Drake. Also, I also hate working for a drunk captain. I don't like living in Wano for most of the year because that place is kind of a hellhole and also the Emperor is a dipshit. Additionally, when I turn into a big ass scarecrow when I turn back there's straw in my pants and stabs my dick. Plus, I got allergies like whoa. Alright good bye." He returned to his own table and began scraping out congealed spinach and artichoke dip out of a dish with a chip. "AND MY CHIP BROKE," he bellowed from the other side of the room.

Sanji was emboldened by all of this. He finished his shot, kicked some rando through a window, and picked up the mic. "Oi, here it goes. It's my turn. Listen to me, I'm Sanji. Ahem. This past year my brother cucked and possible cloned my boyfriend and sent me the broken incomplete version. He's still fucking that one anyway. Um let's seem my dad tried to talk me into opening a pizza chain, but that was stupid and didn't go anywhere. I think he's been having a relationship with a fire dude from another dimension. Oh and I still have nightmares about being sewn to my twin brother's asshole and eating his shit for like a month straight. And I hate that I liked it." He pointed to the two previous speakers, "You guys know. This whole thing sucks sometimes. Sometimes we get what we want but we gotta eat a lotta shit. Literally. Anyway, I gotta fuckin' piss." He tried to mic drop, but the cord was too short so it sorta plunked off the side of a chair and dangled there. Sanji, half-drunk, stomped off to the bathroom.

He had been pissing for a minute or so when the door swung open. Looking over his shoulder he could see that it was of course Drake and Hawkins. They stood to the side, and Sanji thought that he caught a glimpse of Hawkins trying to have a peak at his wang. This was very much against urinal etiquette, but Sanji let it slide. He even felt a twinge of excitement that he hadn't felt in a long time. "You fellas enjoying the show?" There was no response.

Finally, Drake spoke. "Listen Blackleg, we heard what you said and... well even though we're on opposite sides we sympathize. We've had shitty years and we're horny. We we were wondering if you wanna have sex in this greasy Applebee's bathroom." Hawkins nodded in agreement, his belt already unbuckled as if already knowing the answer this proposition would receive.

Sanji shook the last bits off urine off his dick and turned around, showing them his full-masted erection. "I agree on one condition," he said pointing at Drake specifically. "I wanna know what dinosaur cock tastes like. Basil can fuck me." And an accord was struck.

Drake began to transform into his half T-Rex form while unzipping his fly and revealing... two reptilian cocks dripping with precum. Sanji said, "Well it's a One Piece Xmas miracle," and began sucking the left peen while stroking the right. Drake hadn't even finished transforming and they grew even larger as the cook explored the surface of these new members before him. He shuddered as Hawkins removed his pants and began eating his asshole in preparation for penetration.

Sanji shuddered as Hawkins' tongue entered him and he was reminded again of the superhuman centipede experience. His bowels loosened and a nugget fell out. Hawkins swallowed it and said, "It's alright, I made one of the thralls attached to me taste that." Somewhere in Wano, a random mook started to vomit. With the anus properly prepared Hawkins slowly entered Sanji as Drake decided he'd had enough of Blackleg's teasing licks and forced one of the enormous dino cocks down the throat. Sanji nearly gagged, but he quickly adjusted to accommodate the new object in his esophagus. He heard a clap above him and realized he was the support beam of an Applebee's Eiffel Tower. It made him happy.

He wasn't sure how long the fucking lasted. Drake would remove him periodically from one dick to the other, giving Sanji a chance to breathe before returning him to the spit roast. He lost sense of direction. Which dick was the left one? Were they even left and right? Were they up and down? Hawkins' dick was doing it's job but Sanji just couldn't... he could feel it as deep as he liked. Hawkins didn't seem to care and he was the first cum, tensing up and firing what he announced as "Magic Mustard" into Sanji. The feeling was nice, but again somehow... unfulfilling. Drake's first dick soon climaxed as well, spilling prehistoric genetic material deep in Sanji's gullet. He couldn't swallow it all and it drooled from his mouth. In that brief moment of gasping for air and not being sure if he could swallow the rest, Drake rammed the second dick in the first's place and fired his second load. It squirted from behind Sanji's lips and even out of his nose. The taste and smell was indescribably amazing and the gourmet chef part of his mind couldn't help but compare the earthy flavor and smell to almonds.

Hawkins toweled himself off in the sink and bid the other two North Bluers good night and Merry One Piece Xmas before excusing himself. Hawkins was into public sex, but he also was not a giving lover. He had done his deed and was ready to leave. After the door closed behind him Sanji, still on his knees and exhausted from the throat fucking looked Drake in the eye. "You know I... haven't cum yet."

Drake, still in his half-dino form raised an eyebrow. Sanji pressed the issue, "What I'm saying to you, is that I'm not ready to let this night end if you're game."

Drake smiled and said, "Anything you want, sugartits." Sanji's heart skipped a beat when he heard this. "But I think it's probably best for us not to be seen leaving together. So... I have a hotel room we can go to and an idea for how to get you there." With that he transformed into his full dinosaur form, tearing the roof off the bathroom of the Applebee's and swallowed Sanji whole. It was a new experience for the cook who had certainly had a lot of experience with weird things. Drake stomped off into the night with Sanji resting in his stomach. No one questioned too much of this because weirdness is just a thing that happens.

When Drake vomited out Sanji, he discovered that the stomach acid had dissolved most of the cook's clothing. His lithe, but muscular form aroused the dino man and as he shrank back down to his hybrid form. Sanji suddenly got shy and said, why don't we go inside and get to bed. Drake opened the door and happily obliged. He stripped on his way to the bed, and waited. Sanji pushed him to his back and mounted his scaly chest saying, "I always was a fan of Dino Riders." He kissed the reptilian lips of the surprised devil fruit user. As he drew away, their saliva mingled together in long, translucent strands. Sanji was in full on slut mode and he wiped the product of their kiss on his hand which he then transferred to his ass. Pushing off the best with his powerful legs, he leaped into the air and landed at full force right on top of one of Drake's engorged cocks.

He took the entire thing all at once and realized that this was what he'd been missing. Giant lizard dick. Law might have treated him well, but now he was a cucklord. Well now Sanji was cucking him and it felt amazing. He felt the way that it pulsated inside him, causing him to squeeze down harder on the alien phallus in him which elicited appreciative moans from Drake. Taking his partner's other cock in his hand, he pressed it against his own dick and began a furious frottage. His average human penis seemed small against the saurian one, but it nonetheless elicited a strong reaction. The fucked this way until both pirates climaxed. Drake's orgasm triggered a fullness inside Sanji that caused him to cum in conjunction with the friction of his cock on his partner's. The sight of Sanji orgasming on his member made Drake's second penis spurt showering the both of them cum as white as the early One Piece Xmas snow that had begun falling. Exhausted they cuddled together and fell asleep. Sanji was happy, this had been a good early gift to himself to make up for the last year.

The next day, Sanji, Drake, and Hawkins' bounties were all raised because of property damage and dine and dash. And also, Ichiji killed the Law clone again.

**Author's Note:**

> Judge isn't in this one because he's busy getting the One Piece Xmas dildos ready for delivery.


End file.
